With all the extra drama surrounding Father’s Day this year, ChaosMonkey’s been asking about the situation between his dad and I and my opinion of his dad and all sorts of things I don’t feel I can answer honestly without affect his own self-worth. He’s “angry” with me (read as generally frustrated) and accused me of hiding things from him in regards to his dad. Funny thing is, I have a bunch of things between his dad and I that I have saved from when things were good that I have been waiting for the appropriate time to give him. He’s still a child, however, and I cannot justify putting a child amidst over a decades worth of drama between two adults.
That was our talk during the drive home.
We were driving home from an impromptu doctors appointment… for me… again.
BOB is getting his two year molars in and woke up needing some comfort around 2AM, which is usually when the pain in my hands and feet starts setting in. This time, the pain had started around 9:30 last night and when BOB’s cries woke me up at 2 I only had partial feeling and muscle control in each of my four limbs. Needless to say the entire time spent comforting my youngest I was trying not to freak out.
The doc and I went over some things and he poked and prodded me and is referring me out to a neurologist and MRI. It scares me. I feel like my body is just disintegrating around me and there is so much I’m going to miss of my kids lives because I’m going to be drugged out of my mind to treat whatever this is or physically confined or dead.
Yes, I know I’m being overdramatic and what not, it’s my initial reaction to “unknowns”–my mind takes the possibilities and branches out in a dozen directions with each and it’s a little overwhelming to have a few dozen universes explode out of nothing in your head over the course of a few seconds.
My hands and feet have continued with their numbness off and on all day. They’re numb right now… except that the numbness fades into pain the higher up the limb you go.
Which brings me back to my email response to TheEx that I need to work on, in which I need or should probably include the email from my CSE agent confirming that I have not received any funds from them that were taken from him regardless of his accusations and assumptions. It’s a fun time right now…
Update: After a break, I went back again to try and work on a response to his last email and I’m STILL at that “There’s so much delusional BS in this I don’t know where or who to start” stage. *thumps head on desk* Heeeeelp meeee!