In Your Marriage
I went to bed last night thinking about how tired my husband and I are these days and how, because we’re tired, the effort we’re putting into our relationship is pretty low.
Our youngest cut a grand total of three teeth his first year and decided to get ALL of the rest of his teeth in after that first birthday. He’s fourteen months now. It’s been nonstop teething, fussing, screaming, and overall crankiness and cranky boundary pushing the last two months. Not the most happy and romantic of conditions for a couple who are trying to re-find their identities, both separately and as a couple.
So, here’s my thing. HOW do you find the energy to put into something that you’re too exhausted to care about anymore? For me, and quite a few people looking at the fidelity stats, the easiest way is “find” something/someone new and fresh to move onto so all the excitement of the unknown comes back into play. That being said, I really have no desire to go finding someone new. Something new might be nice, but I don’t even have time for the interest I’ve already liked much less finding something new to get involved with.
I have been told I am a very compartmentalized person… quite… a few… times. So, I’m gonna make that work for me. Maybe try the whole “First date reenactment” thing, except that we didn’t really have a first “date”, it was more of a weekend long type of thing… For those who know the story, it was and still is a favorite memory/story, for those who don’t, well, you missed out on some good erotic fun. 😉
Frankly, whether it’s just going out to dinner, walking on the beach, anything, what would probably help me breathe some fresh life into my exhausted relationship is creating a character of some sort to play for the night. I mean, I’ll always be me, don’t get me wrong, but it’s nice to picture yourself as something more than the diaper changing, house cleaning, exhaustion incarnate, person you feel that you are on a daily basis.
I don’t want to be more, just different. So, for a night every now and again I’m gonna be “The Other Woman”. For my own sake, lol. The thing about being “the other woman” that strikes me as being fun is the whole “we’re not married so you still have to try” attitude. I don’t have the energy to care that much during the week, but a special night every once in awhile, I think some of these expectations are just straight up healthy. I need to remember I”m worth wooing and it doesn’t hurt to remind Hubby of that either. 🙂
I realize this is a mess of thinking, but I’ve got two kids running around like crazy I’m watching and this, like usually, takes a backseat to my kids’ safety. 🙂 Especially when it comes to keeping them safe from themselves, lol.