My husband and I have been very stressed over somethings for the last year or so, primarily the lack of child support and the continued expectation of visitation rights being met when aforementioned funds were exactly what we used to pay for gas for such visits. There’s a lot more that goes into it, as anyone in this situation will tell you. It’s putting a strain on our entire family, our marriage, and poor ChaosMonkey. As much as I try not to put him in the middle he’s just too gosh darn observant and smart. He asks questions that if I answer honestly could come across as badmouthing his biological dad and I don’t want to do that but he gets so… frustrated and angry when I don’t tell him or respond with “we’ll talk when you’re older”. I am trying so hard to do the “moral”/”right” thing by him, and his dad/dad’s side is definitely not, and it is just all that much more frustrating.
ChaosMonkey had a pfundraiser packet sent home last night, and as much as I’d like to send the catalogue with him to his dad’s for his weekend visitation, I would not put it past TheEx to not return it. I hate to just email him with the info and the link for online shopping, ChaosMonkey needs the exposure to selling abed the confidence it helps inspire, but… *sigh* There is so much drama going on with his dad it’s beyond ridiculous. My heart is doing cartwheels just thinking about it and I can’t take anymore meds for another 6 hours, so I’ll just skip over that for now… lol.
I haven’t had time or energy to write, again, which is bad because I am emotionally healthier when I DO write. Between sick kids, doc appointments, on check of a mess of potty training (for about a year now), and everything else, I just don’t feel like there’s enough time in the day to get the bare necessities done much less make time for myself. I’ve been trying to make a point to reach out to friends life’s kept me from. I need to talk to people my own age more, with similar interests would be even better. Blogging would be a big help with that. I’ve just got to DO IT.